Hola from 2012.
Life is really great right now. In fact, I feel like a whole new person. Kind of anyway. I mean, deep down under everything I'm still the same old girl I always was. Just a little older (unfortunately.) Sorry I don't write a whole lot. I could probably blame it on my lack of internet but really what it boils down to is my lack of motivation to write. Funny because growing up, that is ALL that I did. I wrote songs, stories, poems, everything and anything that would form a sentence, I wrote it. Well, shout out to my stine-hars because she is probably the only one reading this. Which I am completely A.O.K with.
I have learned so much about myself in this past year. Some of the things I don't really care for, and others I will own with pride. Life is funny that way. God has brought so many amazing people into my life over the course of these past 365 days. Some I call my friends, some I call my co workers, some I call my family and others I just call "little buffers." ;) I recently got engaged, and that happening changed a LOT in my life. My hopes and dreams are all still there, but I have a whole slew of others that have been tacked on to those. A lot of my creative outlets have taken a back seat this past year which kind of saddens me. However if I fail to do anything about it to get them back, well than it's no one else's blame. I think I am going to take advantage of the 21 day fast that Substance does every year. I want to spend some time focusing on a few different areas of my life in the next 6 months. In order to do that I will either need to finish One tree hill asap (not an option,) or put it on the back burner, shut the tv off completely and get to work.
Being that it is a new year I of course have a few goals that I would like to try to achieve to better myself as a person, but also to be true to myself as a child of God. I don't consider these "new years resolution's" however because should God take me in a different direction completely I am not going to look back and consider the un-achieved as failures. Also because some of these things are things that I should have down phat by now and they just need to be adjusted so that my lifestyle reflects them. TOUGH
---IN 2012 I WOULD LIKE TO---
*Become a more dedicated person.
*Finish writing some music that I've labeled "UNABLE."
*Learn how to love and receive love in an unfathomable way.
*Budget my time wisely. [I get 2 day's off a week and have 987656 things/people that I would like to see/do.]
*Pick up my guitar daily
*Volunteer somewhere, somehow, I want to not only give back, but just GIVE in general.
*Learn to decipher what God's voice sounds like as opposed to my own.
*Fall in love with my job again every morning.
*Learn to love my clients and appreciate what they can bring into my life.
*Start learning french.(ahahaha...if I am really listing some of my dreams here.)
*Pray for the attention span of a gold fish to dissipate.
*Learn my fiance's love language.
*Give back to my parents in any way that I can.
*Visit my grand parents at least monthly, so that when I tell them I love them and appreciate them, it will not be in vain.
*Walk my dog more (so that my mom's life span for her does not come to fruition.) HA!
*Be a big part of Addies life.
*Show my best friends how much I value them
*learn the meaning of diligence, whether it be in my work outs, in my devotions, in doing my laundry, dishes, grocery shopping etc.
*Drink more water
*Go on COFFEE dates
*Clean up my language, and I don't mean ENGLISH.
And above all, I want to learn what it really means to share Christ's love with people so that when the spirit moves I can move with it.
I've been learning this past week via a book series Ive started that life really really REALLY is but a breath. We have a chance right here, right now to be a different person than we were yesterday. It's to short and to unknown to live selfishly, hindered and full of baggage. I want to let go of any suitcase full of worry, shame, tainted brokenness, confusion, labeled 2011 and beyond. I want to live in freedom. Freedom was given to us as a gift when Christ died on that cross for our sins. However, freedom is a choice that we need to choose daily. We can choose to put one foot in front of the other and walk in grace, or we can choose to pick up that suit case and be stuck. You can't fly when you have that kind of weight in your life.
I've already started making changes in my life, including letting go of people I've sadly clung to with false hope of reconciliation. I must say it was ridiculously hard to come to terms with that, however after going about the "clean up," the freedom that I have felt lately is unimaginable.
That all being said, I hope that 2012 holds clarity for all of your homes and hearts. ANNDDD lets be real, I probably won't be back on here until at LEAST May. ;)
Love- T
