There are so many things that I don't understand at this point in my life. I mean there are alway's the obvious answers to everything, but I still don't understand them. Like for instance addiction, sure everything starts out as "fun", but what about 50 years down the road when you need an oxygen tank to breath because you chose to smoke, or you have to have your inside lip skin replaced due to lip cancer (if you don't die from it.) Or how about that friend that chooses to be high when everyone goes out to the bar so that he can be the "sober" cab. All it takes is one accident to kill them all, or worse yet in my opinion, an innocent bystander. I'll sit down and have a drink, but Ive seen what happens when it goes to far. I have my limits, and I know them for the most part. I'm just really curious why someone would choose to stay in a grim life of hang overs and withdrawals??
My brother is getting out of rehab this coming Saturday, which has really sparked my thinking. Ive been going to family meetings and visitations weekly now for the past 2 months. I do trust the Lord with him, I will also be the first to stand up and tell you that I am anxious over his return. I love him with all of my heart, and would genuinely do anything for him. Listening to him cry out for help and proclaim that he wants to be different, he wants to be changed is a humbling experience in my own heart. I feel like I need to do anything I can to help him along this road, the only question is HOW?? he's 17 and can't wait to be free (physically, mentally, spiritually,) however it's not until the end of his program that he has started to drastically show signs of wanting to change. I just wish I knew for a fact (there's that trust factor again) that having him home is going to be safe for him. My worst fear is that one day he is going to kill himself, or someone else. I love him so much, and I wish that I could show him my past and reveal the ins and outs of who I am now, so he could see it's WORTH IT to live a clean life.
now on a different note-
My church is doing a sermon series titled "the blessed life."
I felt so inspired from it, I would like to share it with you as well. :)
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